A biochemical parody of Bryan Adams

For some reason when I was in high school Bryan Adams was big, and we used to listen to his songs all the time. These days I find many of his songs too sappy, but I still love some of the melodies and find myself going nostalgically down memory lane when "Summer of '69" or "Everything I Do" or "Cloud Number Nine" wafts on to the air from somewhere.

So yesterday I happened to be looking at a particularly ravishing picture of dihydrofolate reductase (DHFR) and Adams's "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" randomly started playing on my iPod and Bam! The two topics meshed together in an ungodly union. So here is my tribute to Bryan Adams with profound apologies...an ode to that perfect protein which we can only covet. Chemically inclined folk will appreciate this more but others should also be able to smack their forehead. The original version is copied first to mitigate the trauma that will follow.

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED A WOMAN

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know it deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her
that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?


HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED A PROTEIN

To really love a protein
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every helix - see every sheet
N' give her energy - when she wants to jiggle
Then when you find yourself staring helpless at her domains
You know you really love a protein

When you love a protein you tell her
that she's really conformationally correct
When you love a protein you tell her
that she's catalytically perfect
she needs somebody to tell her
that her half-life?s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a protein?

To really love a protein
Let her hold your high-affinity binders-
til ya know how she needs to be crystallized
You've gotta mass spec her - really sequence her
Til you can feel her atoms in your spectrometer
N' when you can see the unformed hydrogen bonds in her pockets
You know you really love a protein

When you love a protein
you tell her that she's really evolutionarily conserved
When you love a protein you tell her that she's peptidase-digestion preserved
she needs somebody to tell her
that her fold will always hold together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a protein?

You got to give her some metal ions - hold her co-factors
A little pH-control - gotta treat her ionization state right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of your ligands
Ya really gotta love your protein...

Then when you find yourself staring helpless at her PDB coordinates
You know you really love a protein
When you love a protein you tell her
that she's really conformationally correct
When you love a protein you tell her
that she's catalytically perfect
she needs somebody to tell her
that her half-life?s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a protein?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a protein? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved (that helical, sheety, hydrogen bondalacious) protein?