Monday, May 30, 2005

THE WAR OF ATTRITION...

X's desk is between Y's and Ashutosh's (A's) desk.
Monday afternoon, 3.00 p.m. A, Y and X are the only three people in the modeling lab (not THAT kind of modeling)
A is eating cornflakes, having skipped lunch, in the continuing war against the dietary devil. Y is already a valiant survivor, and hails from Turkey. X is Americana. Typical conversation between A and Y (yet again) follows...

Y: Hey A, don't keep the cornflakes packet and the milk carton on top of the CPU.
A: That's OK. Both are kept there right in front of me, because I want to see how long I can resist temptation after I am done with this snack.
Y: Yeah. But you should not keep liquids on top of CPUs. What if it spills?
A: Don't worry. I always screw on the cap very tightly, mainly to keep odors from the Unidentified Chinese Eatables (UCE) in the fridge from getting in.
Y: What about the cornflakes? By the way, they contain enough calories so that if you eat them constantly, it won't make a difference whether you skip lunch or not.
A: Yes. But I believe that the calories in these are of the fast-burning types. So they will quickly disappear.
Y: Anyway, skipping meals is not going to help. The point is, you will just eat more for dinner.
A: I WON'T. That's precisely the test.
Y: But are you going to keep eating burritos for dinner?
A: Yessir
Y: Ha! So much for the diet.
A: No listen; I told them to take out the sour cream from the burritos. That's about 200 cals.
Y: Ha! What about the tortilla flour wrap? That's about 200 cals itself.
A: I know all that. But dependence is a persistent animal that can only gradually be taken care of. That's why the skipped meal.
Y: Won't work. Every year, I fast for one month, and then I just end up eating more.
A: That's why I am NOT going to do this for a month. It's all about quick fat burning.
Y: Won't work. First the proteins in your muscles will burn, only then the fat; by that time, you will be panting for food.
A: It's not that simple. These metabolic cycles are interlinked. Let me check in my favourite Biochemistry textbook. O, by the way, I also told them to take out LETTUCE from my burrito. I am sure that will help...

X: Look, why don't you just ingest a tapeworm or something?? That way, you will keep away from EVERYTHING, and most importantly, you won't have to ARGUE any further...

2 Comments:

Blogger Hirak said...

Oscar Wilde said
"Anything that is good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening."

12:44 PM  
Blogger Ashutosh said...

Excellent! As usual, his wit and shrewd appraisal impresses me once again!

4:17 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home